Universal Corporate Translator
ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION:
Youll be making under $6 an hour.
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ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY:
Youre paid under $6 an hour; well be bankrupt in a year.
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AN UP-AND-COMING SOFTWARE COMPANY:
Theres no chance in hell well be the next Microsoft.
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PROFIT-SHARING PLAN:
Once its shared among the brass, you get whats left.
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COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
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JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you. (and/or)
Please introduce yourself to your co-workers.
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NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:
Inc. Magazine mentioned us in an article a few years ago.
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IMMEDIATE OPENING:
The person who had this job gave notice a month ago.
Were just now running the ad.
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SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
Were cant supply you with leads; (and/or)
theres no base salary to speak of; (and/or)
youll wait 30 days for your first commission check.
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SELF-MOTIVATED:
Dont expect Management to answer questions
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WE OFFER GREAT BENEFITS:
After 90 days, you can join our HMO, which has a $500 deductible and a $35 co-pay.
