PLEASE NOTE: If you find jokes about Christianity offensive… DO NOT READ THIS JOKE!
Vatican Rescinds Blessed Status of Worlds Meek- Screw the Meek, Says Pope
VATICAN CITY–In a historic reversal of its nearly 2,000-year-old pro-meek stance, the Catholic Church announced Tuesday that it is permanently rescinding the traditional blessed status of the worlds meek.
Our Lord and [...]
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night hes doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, hes going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: Ive heard [...]
What do you get a lawyer for his birthday?
Briefs!! ha!ha!
What do you call a sky-diving club for lawyers?
Skeet.
This guy is just starting off his career as a ventriliquist and hes going around town looking for a job. He finds one at a local nightclub.
So, on his first night, hes going through his normal routine of blonde jokes. All of a sudden, this blonde stands up in the fourth row and says, Excuse [...]
How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two - one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven - one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.
How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None [...]
Okay, here are a few ethnic hunting jokes:
Two ethnics are out duck hunting. They hunt and hunt and hunt into the late
hours of the evening and still have not killed one duck. Finally, ethnic #1
says to ethnic #2:
Maybe wed do better if we threw the dog up higher.
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
3. Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
4. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
5. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
6. [...]
* Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast-food bags out of the back seat of your car.
* Your reason for not staying in better touch with your family is that they dont have E-mail addresses.
* Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPNs homepage to your bookmarks.
* You have a to [...]
Why are dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.
It has come to my attention recently that many people have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of Miscellaneous Unproductive Time (code 5300). To our department, unproductive time isnt a problem.
What is a problem is not knowing exactly what people are doing during their unproductive time.
Ive attached a sheet specifying a tentative [...]
New Family - Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates Ad (Long Version)
