Hopefully, all the humor-impaired and those who cant understand warnings have lost interest, so here we go with more Clinton jokes (offensive to Bill Clinton and his fans, Arkansas, etc.):
Did you hear they changed Highway 69 in Arkansas to the Bill Clinton Highway?
Thats because its real slick, real crooked, doesnt go anywhere, and its got [...]
Two rednecks decided they werent going anywhere in life, and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first redneck went in to see the counselor, who told him to take Math, History, and Logic.
Whats Logic? the first redneck asked. The professor answered by saying, Let me give you an example. Do you own [...]
There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shitheads.
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
I live in my own little world but its OK, everyone knows me here.
I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?
I dont do [...]
You might be a rednack if…
There are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.
You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient in soup.
Youve ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.
Your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.
Your local ambulance has a trailer [...]
Ratio of an igloos circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League
2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton
1 millionth cup of mouthwash = 1 microscope
Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier = Mach Turtle
Time it takes to sail 220 yards [...]
Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
Dont imagine you can change a man - unless hes in diapers.
What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
So many men - so many reasons not to [...]
You think you are an entrepreneur because of the Dirt for Sale sign in the front yard.
Youre still scalping tickets after the concert is over.
You dont think Jeffs jokes are funny.
You might be a redneck if. . .
You think harass is two words.
You consider fast food hitting a deer at 65 MPH.
Every day someone comes to your house mistakingly thinking your having a yard sale.
Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
You have more dogs than the local [...]
Ghost PoopieThe kind where you feel the poopie come out, but theres no poopie in the toilet.
Clean PoopieThe kind where you seen the poopie come out, but theres nothing on the toilet paper.
The Wet PoopieThe kind where you wipe your butt fifty times, and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet [...]
A programmer and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from Los Angeles to New York.
The programmer leans over to the engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to [...]
New Family - Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates Ad (Long Version)
