The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was Timbuktu.
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. [...]
While vacationing in the hills of Arkansas, the big city man discovered he had no writing paper at all for his personal correspondence.
He went into the small town near-by and found only an old-fashioned country store. Behind the counter was a really nice looking young lass, quite obviously a local farm girl.
He asked, Do you [...]
Two Indians and a Hillbilly were walking in the woods, all of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.
Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo! he called into the cave and then he listened very closely until he heard a answering, Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!
He tore off his clothes [...]
A hot shot East Coast newspaper reporter was on assignment in Arkansas, when he struck up a conversation with a young lady in a bar. After a half dozen drinks, he suggested they get their own bottle and retire to his motel room, and she readily agreed.
Say, how old are you anyway?
the reporter asked as [...]
Every time Timmys mom had her boyfriend over, she put Timmy in the closet with his teddy bear. One day, hearing her husband coming up the stairs, she quickly shoved her boyfriend in with Timmy.
Gee, its mighty dark in here, Timmy said.
Yes, it sure is, replied the boyfriend.
You wanna buy my teddy bear for fifty [...]
Every time Timmys mom had her boyfriend over, she put Timmy in the closet with his teddy bear.
One day, hearing her husband coming up the stairs, she quickly shoved her boyfriend in with Timmy.
Gee, its mighty dark in here, Timmy said.
Yes, it sure is, replied the boyfriend.
You wanna buy my teddy bear for fifty [...]
When God was creating the human race, he lined up all the males on one side and all the females opposite. Then he asked, Which of your species would like to urinate standing up?
Well, the males went crazy, shouting that they wanted to pee standing up.
Fine, says God, Women get multiple orgasms
The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below.
The Queen says to the Pope out of the corner of her mouth, I bet you a tenner that I can make every English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my [...]
It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.
The new law was that, in order to get into heaven, you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
The next day at 12:01, [...]
A man went to a plastic surgeon to get work done on his penis.
The doctor, curious, asked what had happened to it.
Well, the patient said, I live in a trailer court. A gorgeous buxom creature lives in the trailer next to mine.
I used to peek into her trailer and I saw that [...]
New Family - Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates Ad (Long Version)
