There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which arent sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand [...]
Did you know that verb is a noun?
How can you look up words in a dictionary if you cant spell them?
If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know?
If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why arent two houses hice?
If Webster wrote the first [...]
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.
Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog cant even ride a bicycle.
EMACS: Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-ShiftEMACS: Eight Megabytes And Constantly SwappingEMACS: Even a Master of Arts Comes SimplerEMACS: Emacs Manuals Are Cryptic and SurrealEMACS: Energetic Merchants Always Cultivate SalesEMACS: Each Manuals Audience is Completely StupifiedEMACS: Emacs Means A Crappy ScreenEMACS: Eventually Munches All Computer StorageEMACS: Even My Aunt Crashes the SystemEMACS: Eradication of Memory Accomplished with Complete SimplicityEMACS: Elsewhere [...]
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husbands attention, hed just shrug her off with some bored comment.
This went on [...]
While waiting for a bus, the blind mans dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind mans legs.
A passerby commented to the blind man, What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?
To which the blind man replied, Madam, I am [...]
How many Frat boys does it take to change a lightbulb?
11… One to hold the lightbulb, and 10 to drink until the room spins.
A group of guys are on their way to a party, but couldnt quite remember the address to the house. Im sure this is the one, said the driver. Well, I have got to go to the bathroom SO BAD. Replied one of the others, Ill go knock on the door, and check. If its [...]
How many Frat boys does it take to change a lightbulb?
11… One to hold the lightbulb, and 10 to drink until the room spins.
A man goes into a bar and sees a pile of cash on a table beneath a big sign that reads $2,000 Cash Prize! See bartender for details.
Keeping one eye on the stack of money, the man goes over and asks the bartender what he has to do to win the prize.
You have [...]
New Family - Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates Ad (Long Version)
