Problem with a dog
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.
Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog cant even ride a bicycle.
Emacs acronyms
EMACS: Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-ShiftEMACS: Eight Megabytes And Constantly SwappingEMACS: Even a Master of Arts Comes SimplerEMACS: Emacs Manuals Are Cryptic and SurrealEMACS: Energetic Merchants Always Cultivate SalesEMACS: Each Manuals Audience is Completely StupifiedEMACS: Emacs Means A Crappy ScreenEMACS: Eventually Munches All Computer StorageEMACS: Even My Aunt Crashes the SystemEMACS: Eradication of Memory Accomplished with Complete SimplicityEMACS: Elsewhere [...]
Purchasing a new bird
After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husbands attention, hed just shrug her off with some bored comment.
This went on [...]
This dog is acting bad
While waiting for a bus, the blind mans dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind mans legs.
A passerby commented to the blind man, What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?
To which the blind man replied, Madam, I am [...]
Shine On, You Crazy
How many Frat boys does it take to change a lightbulb?
11… One to hold the lightbulb, and 10 to drink until the room spins.
The Golden Toilet
A group of guys are on their way to a party, but couldnt quite remember the address to the house. Im sure this is the one, said the driver. Well, I have got to go to the bathroom SO BAD. Replied one of the others, Ill go knock on the door, and check. If its [...]
Shine On, You Crazy
How many Frat boys does it take to change a lightbulb?
11… One to hold the lightbulb, and 10 to drink until the room spins.
$2000 cash prize
A man goes into a bar and sees a pile of cash on a table beneath a big sign that reads $2,000 Cash Prize! See bartender for details.
Keeping one eye on the stack of money, the man goes over and asks the bartender what he has to do to win the prize.
You have [...]
Recyclables
A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he removed a stick of gum he had from the airport in Canada and started to chew it. He walked into a French coffee shop and sat himself beside an English speaking French man.
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?
Canadian: [...]
Election Update
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
To the citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of yourindependence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and [...]
