Haios! http://hahaios.com Funny Jokes, Funny pictures, Free Flash Games, Wigi Games Wed, 10 Mar 2010 18:14:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Q: How many quantum http://hahaios.com/q-how-many-quantum-3/ http://hahaios.com/q-how-many-quantum-3/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 18:14:26 +0000 admin http://hahaios.com/2007/11/14/q-how-many-quantum-3/ Q: How many quantum mechanicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They cant. When they get the socket to hold still, they cant find it.

]]> http://hahaios.com/q-how-many-quantum-3/feed/ 0 The following are new Windows… http://hahaios.com/the-following-are-new-windows/ http://hahaios.com/the-following-are-new-windows/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:48:07 +0000 admin http://hahaios.com/2007/01/11/the-following-are-new-windows/ The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000:



1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.



2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.



3. Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!



4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.



5. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?



6. Windows message: Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)



7. This is a message from God Gates: Rebooting the world. Please log off.



8. To shut down your system, type WIN



9. BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.



10. COFFEE.SYS missing… Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.



11. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)



12. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.



13. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)



14. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)



15. User Error: Replace user.



16. Windows VirusScan 1.0 – Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)



17. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.

]]> http://hahaios.com/the-following-are-new-windows/feed/ 0 Twas the Night Before Christmas… http://hahaios.com/twas-the-night-before-christmas/ http://hahaios.com/twas-the-night-before-christmas/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:46:46 +0000 admin http://hahaios.com/2006/12/26/twas-the-night-before-christmas/ Twas the Night Before Christmas: Microsoft Version



Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, except Papas mouse.

The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,

As Papa did last-minute Internet shopping.

The stockings were hung by the modem with care

In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of computer games danced in their heads.

PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan,

And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.

The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,

To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com

Which has now been re-routed to Washington State

Because Santas workshop has been bought by Bill Gates.

All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle

To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.

After centuries of a life that was simple and spare,

St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire,

With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh,

And a house on Lake Washington thats just down the way

From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens

In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.

The elves have stock options and desks with a view,

Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.

No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums

Will be under the tree, only compact disk ROMS

With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,

From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.

More rapid than eagles the competitors came,

And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.

Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too,

Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you are all of you through,

It is Microsofts SANTA that the kids cant resist,

Its the ultimate software with a traditional twist

Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,

And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.

Get em young, keep em long, is Microsofts scheme,

And a merger with Santa is a marketers dream.

To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away – wow!

And Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winters nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,

As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,

The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.

As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,

My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.

And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates

Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.

And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright,

Have a MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS, and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

]]> http://hahaios.com/twas-the-night-before-christmas/feed/ 0 Question and answer blonde joke http://hahaios.com/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-118/ http://hahaios.com/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-118/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:23:24 +0000 admin http://hahaios.com/2006/03/22/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-118/ Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.

]]> http://hahaios.com/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-118/feed/ 0 Question and answer blonde joke http://hahaios.com/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-98/ http://hahaios.com/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-98/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:23:17 +0000 admin http://hahaios.com/2006/03/21/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-98/ Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: Its on. Its off. Its on. Its off. Its on. Its off.

]]> http://hahaios.com/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-98/feed/ 0 Question and answer blonde joke http://hahaios.com/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-33/ http://hahaios.com/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-33/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:22:55 +0000 admin http://hahaios.com/2006/03/16/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-33/ Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

]]> http://hahaios.com/question-and-answer-blonde-joke-33/feed/ 0 A Father and son are http://hahaios.com/a-father-and-son-are/ http://hahaios.com/a-father-and-son-are/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:18:58 +0000 admin http://hahaios.com/2006/01/27/a-father-and-son-are/ A Father and son are talking about where to go on holiday.
The father suggests Poland because you can eat and drink for free.
Also, he says, you may go to the buffet for free.

After his visit to Poland his son lies in the hospital and complains
bitterly, Why have you told me all this is free in Poland. Everytime I
tried to have lunch for free or tried to go to the buffet for free I was
beaten up.

After his father had a careful reflection he says,
Oh, sorry. I didn t tell you I was in Poland with the SS!

]]> http://hahaios.com/a-father-and-son-are/feed/ 0 You might be a redneck if… http://hahaios.com/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-221/ http://hahaios.com/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-221/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:04:14 +0000 admin http://hahaios.com/2005/08/03/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-221/ You might be a redneck if…
Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

]]> http://hahaios.com/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-221/feed/ 0 Late for Work http://hahaios.com/late-for-work-1/ http://hahaios.com/late-for-work-1/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:03:51 +0000 admin http://hahaios.com/2005/07/29/late-for-work-1/ Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one
week, and found the boss waiting for him.

Whats the story this time, Jones? the boss asked sarcastically.
Let me hear a good excuse for a change.

Jones sighed, Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. My wife
decided to drive me to the station. I told her I was in a hurry, but
she got ready in ten minutes just to take me. When we were on our way,
the drawbridge got stuck. Rather than let you down, I swam across the
river – look, my suits still damp – ran out to the airport, got a
ride on Mr. Thompsons helicopter, landed on top of Radio City Music
Hall, and was carried here piggyback by one of the Rockettes.

Youll have to do better than that, Jones, said the boss, obviously
disappointed. No woman can get ready in ten minutes.

]]> http://hahaios.com/late-for-work-1/feed/ 0 You might be a redneck if… http://hahaios.com/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-206/ http://hahaios.com/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-206/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:58:22 +0000 admin http://hahaios.com/2005/05/26/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-206/ You might be a redneck if…
You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.

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