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The Florida State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers,
hunters, fishers, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for
alligators while in Osceola, Polk, Manatee, Orange and Dade Counties.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on
their clothing to alert but not startle the alligators unexpectedly.

They also advise the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with
an alligator.

It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity.

People should recognize the difference between small young alligator and
large adult alligator droppings.

Young alligator droppings are smaller and contain fish bones and possibly
bird feathers.

Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper
spray.

In September, a 7-year- old boy fell off a 100-foot-high bluff near Ozark,
Ark., after he lost his grip swinging on a cross that marked the spot
where another person had fallen to his death in 1990.

ABCs overnight news show, World News Now, has a recurring segment called
World News Then, where they air pieces of ABC News broadcasts as they
covered various important events of the past. Last April 1st,
they decided that instead of running a piece from a few decades ago, it
would be more interesting to go back a few millennia. One of the stories
they rebroadcast was the following report from 2400 BC:

Egypts emerging papyrus technology continues to alarm parents and law
enforcement. A new bill introduced today would let the government
regulate material found on papyrus. Legislators said paperspace, as it
is known to so-called writers, is becoming a haven for monotheists,
con artists and worse hoping to prey on the young and gullible. A little
bit later in this broadcast we will have some tips on how to shield your
children from offensive and dangerous material found on the dangerous
papyrus.

In September, according to police in Junction City, Kan., David Bell, 30,
just released from jail for car theft, walked out the door and stole
another car to get home.

Arizona: A company called Guns For Hire stages gunfights for Western
movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year-old woman, who
wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.

A rogue guide dog has been destroyed after leading four of its blind owners
to their deaths.

Charity workers were last night facing an investigation into how
four-year-old Labrador Gamer was allowed to continue his murderous spree.
Officials have admitted how:
Victim Nunmber 1 was dragged under the wheels of a bus.

Victim Nunmber 2 drowned when she was led off the end of a pier.

Victim Nunmber 3 was shoved into the path of a speeding train.

Victim Nunmber 4 was left stranded as a truck mowed him down.

Trainer Rudi Jones, 48, told newsmen in South Africa:
He was basically a good dog who needed brushing up on his skills.Its so
sad that he had to be put down.

Gamers terror trail began with the death of 43-year-old Selmer Draznower
from Johannesburg. Witnesses told how Gamer dragged his master under the
wheels of an approaching bus before scampering off.

Amazingly, Gamer was then given to 68-year-old Wilma Hassamore who survived
just three months after his arrival. Gamer decided to cut short her
seaside holiday by leading her off the end of a pier. The dog pulled back
at the last second but Wilma plunged into the sea and drowned.

Next was Marvin Wurtenheim, 28, who thought his prayers had been answered
when Gamer arrived. But the misguided mutt butted Marvin off a railway
platform.

Unbelievably, the dog was then given to retired Clarence MacDuff, 67, also
from Johannesburg. As Gamer was guiding the unlucky Clarence to his doctor,
the hapless hound dragged him under the wheels of a delivery truck.

A spokesman for the Guide Dogs For The Blind Association, in Durban, South
Africa, said: We had no choice but to have him put down.

Last night, the chief trainer for Britains Guide Dogs For The Blind
Association, Bob Steele, said: This could never happen here. If there are
any doubts about the animal, it is dropped from our training programme at
once.

The Stanford Law Review runs the following quote on their masthead:

For every thousand people hacking at the leaves of evil there
is one chopping at the roots.

-H.D. Thoreau

On their April Fools issue they ran the following:

For every person hacking at the leaves of evil there are a thousand
smoking the stuff.

Microsoft Corp today announced that they would purchase the source the
PenPoint operating system for the value of one of Bill Gates eye-lashes
(est. value $1.3 million). Gates was quoted as saying we are only doing
what the consumer has asked us to do: ship huge, bloated, bug-ridden
programs while using every trick in the book to kill our competitors. As an
example of our progress, consider Windows CE which paints the screen slower
on a 75 MHz MIPS RISC processor than the 16 MHz 68000 in the Palm Pilot,
while sucking the batteries dry in a tenth of the time.

The White House says President Clinton will make a speech on
campaign finance reform today in California. Says Argus Hamilton, The
exact time hasnt been announced. Aides are still trying to fit it in
between fund-raisers.