Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Is it true that cannibals dont eat clowns because they taste funny?
If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them?
Isnt Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesnt it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and drycleaners depressed?
Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.
Why do we sing Take me out to the ball game when were already there?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If youre born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
When Im not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
I intend to live forever — so far, so good!
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Eagles may soar, but weasels dont get sucked into jet engines.
Ever wonder what you call a pocket calculator in a nudist camp?
If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?
Being rich and it dont mean so much . Just look at Henry Ford, all those millions and he never owned a Cadillac!
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? Why dont they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. Wouldnt a good response be to write . . . A Good Doctor!
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Whos bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Biggers baby! Mr. Biggers baby because he is a little bigger!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Whats another word for thesaurus?
What would we have called the color orange if it wasnt a fruit?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
Whats another word for thesaurus?
What would we have called the color orange if it wasnt a fruit?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If youre in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say Open here. What is the protocol if the package says, Open somewhere else?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
New Family - Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates Ad (Long Version)
