Why doesnt Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.
I really feel sorry for Madonnas baby, having to grow without a last name.
Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?
The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Whos bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Biggers baby! Mr. Biggers baby because he is a little bigger!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
So whats the speed of dark?
Why dont they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
1. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
2. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
3. Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing?
4. Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
5. Why is it called after dark when it really is after light?
6. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
7. Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?
8. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
9. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
10. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
11. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
12 Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
13. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
14. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
15. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder Why youre just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
Every time I think people cant possibly say or do anything more stupid, I am proved wrong.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Why call then hot water heaters if the water is already hot?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
Why call it take a dump, when you leave something behind?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?