The laws of golf
LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
Archive for the "Sports" Category
The laws of golf
LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
The laws of golf
LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
The laws of golf
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
Is he a good dentist?
A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.
His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. Is that so? the first said. Did he do a good job?
Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot, he said. The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That, he added, was the first time in two years my teeth didnt hurt.
The laws of golf
LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
The laws of golf
LAW 14: Golf balls from the same sleeve tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law three).
Patriots vs. Rams
POST GAME DISCUSSION
Two Rams fans were standing at a bar. The one fan said to the other, You know, the Patriots might have won the Super Bowl, but their fans are such assholes!
A man walked up to them and with a mad look on his face said, I find that statement offensive!
One of the Rams fans replied, Oh, you must be a Patriots fan.
No, the man said, Im an asshole!
A Tallahassee area mortician had
A Tallahassee area mortician had a new apprentice who was learning the
embalming ropes. He walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was
lying on the table.
Thinking he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his boss,
he began examining the body. He rolled it over and to his amazement
there was a cork in its ass. Mystified, he pulled it out, and
immediately heard, the Florida State Chop song come out the guys butt.
Startled by what had happened, he shoved the cork back into the
cadaver and ran up the stairs to find his mentor. Sir, youve got to
come down and help me, Ive just seen something I cant believe.
Annoyed by the naivet of his assistant, he said OK and followed him
downstairs. There, look at the cork in the ass of that body, I
couldnt imagine what it was doing there so I pulled it out. Please
you do it.
The mortician was a bit surprised to see the cork, too, so he walked
to the table and removed the cork. Then the Florida State Chop song
started playing.
Exasperated, he replaced the cork in its appointed position, turned to
his assistant and said: Whats so surprising about that. Ive heard
thousands of assholes sing that song.