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A young man, who worked

A young man, who worked at a driving range, picked up a couple of dozen
old balls one day and took them home with him, stuffing them into his
pants pockets.

On the bus on his way home, an elderly old lady sat down next to him,
so he had to scrunch them up to make room for her. He noticed after a
while the lady was glancing sideways toward his pockets. A bit
embarrassed, he said to the lady, Its all right maam, theyre just
golf balls.

She nodded and smiled sympathetically and a few moments later said,
Tell me - is that something like tennis elbow?

Question answer

Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
All of them, a crossbar cant jump!

Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?
They prefer cricket matches!

What stories are told by basketball players?
Tall stories!

Digger Phelps quotes

Digger Phelps Words of Wisdom

From the NCAA Tournament:

Basketball is a game of two halves.

We have to remember that whoever scores the most points by the end wins.

Youre either a good team or a bad team, and they played somewhere in the middle.

Hes like all great players — not great yet.

You dont score 86 points without being able to shoot.

Taking the final exam

Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.

The last question read, Old MacDonald had a ________.

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the professor wasnt watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. Pssst. Tiny. Whats the answer to the last question?

Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadnt noticed then he turned to Bubba. Bubba, youre so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM.

Oh yeah, said Bubba. I remember now.

He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tinys shoulder again, he whispered, Tiny, how do you spell farm?

You are really dumb, Bubba. Thats so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O.

Three convicts were on

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were
each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy
their time while incarcerated. On the bus, one turned to
another and said, So, what did you bring? The second
convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he
intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become
the Grandma Moses of Jail. Then he asked the first, What
did you bring? The first convict pulled out a deck of cards
and grinned and said, I brought cards. I can play poker,
solitaire and gin, and any number of games. The third convict,
who was a Vol fan, was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The
other two took notice and asked, Why are you so smug? What
did you bring? The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He
said I brought these.

The other two were puzzled and asked - What can you do with
those? He grinned and pointed to the box and said - Well
according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming,
roller-skating….

The laws of golf

LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.

Shes new to football

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.

I liked it, but I couldnt understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents, she said.

What do you mean? he asked.

Well, everyone kept yelling, Get the quarter back!

Steelers quarterback joke

A guy took his girlfriend to her first Steelers game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.

I liked it, but I couldnt understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents, she said.

What do you mean? he asked.

Well, everyone kept yelling Get the quarter back!

Question answer

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?
Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!

Whats tennis players favourite city?
Volley wood!

How does a physicist exercise?
By pumping ion!

Question answer

Where do religious school children practice sports?
In the prayground!

How did the basketball court get wet?
The players dribbled all over it!

Why did the chicken get sent off?
For persistent fowl play!