Question and answer Clinton joke
Q: Why did the Clintons switch from MCI to AT&T?
A: They didnt have enough friends left to make a calling circle.
Archive for the "Political" Category
Bush and Saddam
Saddam Hussein and President George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices 3 buttons on the side of Saddams chair.
They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Saddam presses the first button.
A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, hes finally had enough, knowing that he cant do much else but say Im going back home! he tells the Iraqi. Well finish these talks in two weeks!
Two weeks pass and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. Asthe 2 men sit down, Hussein notices 3 buttons on Bushs chair and prepares himself for the Americans revenge.
They begin talking and Saddam is uncooperative, Bush presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush snickers.
A few seconds later, as Hussein continues his belligerence, Bush presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter.
As things progress, then the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics.
Forget this, says Saddam. Im going back to Baghdad!
Bush then says through tears of laughter, What Baghdad?
When did Clinton realize Paula
When did Clinton realize Paula Jones wasnt a Democrat?
When she didnt swallow everything he presented.
Clinton one-liner
Carter is no longer the worst U.S. President
Question and answer Clinton joke
Q: How many Clinton White House officials does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They like to keep him in the dark!
33 Gallons
A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal.
As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong.
The cop said, Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton is in the road very upset. He does not have the $33.5 million that he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire.
The marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing there. The cop said, I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car asking for donations.
The marine asked, How much do you have so far? The cop replied, Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!
Monica Lewinski walks into a
Monica Lewinski walks into a cleaners carrying her blue dress. After she
dropped it off for it to be cleaned and was about to walk out the door,
the little chinese man behind the counter said, Come again!
No Monica says, This time its mayonaise!
The Hot Line - red phone
In the old days, it was simple. Take the Hot Line telephone between us and the USSR for example. All the President had to do was pick it up and say, Sorry, it seems a Dr. Strangelove has just launched 172 ICBMs your way. and everything was fine.
Now though, with the break-up of the Soviet Union, and countries in upheaval and changing names and all, we gotta have umpteen of the damn things.
Cant you just imagine how it might be? Clinton picks up a phone and a recording sez Im sorry, you have just reached a disconnected nation. Please hang up and try another phone.
And then the bean-counters in the GAO step in, all worried about the costs of all these lines and try to insist the President only use them after 9:00 P.M. when the rates are cheaper.
Letterman Top Ten
Lettermans Top Ten List: Top Ten George W. Bush Complaints About Fahrenheit 9/11:
10. That actor who played the President was totally unconvincing
9. It oversimplified the way I stole the election
8. Too many of them fancy college-boy words
7. If Michael Moore had waited a few months, he could have included the part where I get him deported
6. Didnt have one of them hilarious monkeys who smoke cigarettes and gives people the finger
5. Of all Michael Moores accusations, only 97% are true
4. Not sure - - I passed out after a piece of popcorn lodged in my windpipe
3. Where the hell was Spider-man?
2. Couldnt hear most of the movie over Cheneys foul mouth
1. I thought this was supposed to be about dodgeball.
Question and answer Clinton joke
Q: How can you tell if it was a shared computer used by many staffers?
A: There is writing on the White-out.
