Haios!Funny Jokes, Funny pictures, Free Flash Games, Wigi Games

The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.

So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said No, I cant live with Papa bear, he beats me terribly.

OK, said the judge, then you want to live with your mother, right?

No way! replied baby bear, She beats me worse than Papa bear does.

The judge was a bit confused by this, and didnt quite know what to do. Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with? asked the judge.

Yes, answered baby bear, my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago.

Youre sure she will treat you well and wont beat you? asked the judge.

Oh definitely, said baby bear, the Chicago Bears dont beat anybody.

Una pareja está en el cine viendo una película porno, y el chico le pide a su novia:

Mamita, hágame la paja.

Pero yo no sé cómo es.

Él le explica que es como batir una Pepsi-Cola. Al rato, el novio empieza a gemir y ella le pregunta:

¿Voy bien, mi amor?

Sí mamita, pero quítele el dedito.

If we are what we eat; Im cheap, fast, and easy.

A: Oh look! Donut seeds!

There was a cargo shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.

It suddenly had a malfunction, and crashed in the jungle.

A few days later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane to search for the plane and crew.

They found the wreckage, but were not able to locate the crew.

They searched the area and met with a tribe of cannibals.

They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.

The Chief nods and simply says, Yes…seen plane crash.

When asked where the crew was, the Cheif replyed, We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi!

The Rescue crew was shocked. Another man asked, Did you eat their legs?

The chief replied, We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi!

Another rescuer asked, Did you eat their arms?

The Chief said, We ate their arms, and we drank the Peps!

Finally, another rescuer had to ask, Did you..you know…eat their…things?

The cheif says, NO, you idoit!… even cannibals know that…

THINGS go better with Coke!

A couple, concerned with speaking of sex in front of their children, decided to rename sex with the words washing machine.

Each time one of the two decided to entice the other, they would say, How about some washing machine, dear?

Well, one night, the husband was feeling quite amorous and asked his wife for a little washing machine, but the wife refused on the grounds of having a headache.

After a while, the wife reconsidered the husbands request thinking of allowing herself to have a headache interrupt their sexual activities. So, the wife awoke her husband and offered to participate in a little washing machine action.

The husband rolled over, facing his wife, and declared, No, thats ok, dear. It was a small load anyway, so I did it out by hand.

Dung On MAI Shu————I stepped in excrement

Ai Wan Tu Bang Yu———Lets sleep together

Ai Bang Mai Ne————–I bumped into the coffee table

Fat Ho———————An unattractive woman

Ar U Wun Tu—————–A gay liberation greeting

Chin Tu Fat—————-You need a face lift

Chow Mai Dong————-Romantic proposition

Dum Gai———————A stupid person

Wel Hung Gai—————-Is that a banana in your pocket?

Won Hung Low————-Southern Chinese dialect for Wel Hung Gai

Gun Pao Der—————–An ancient Chinese invention

Hu Flung Dung—————Which one of you fertilized the field?

Hu Yu Hai Ding————–We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive

Jan Ne Ka Sun—————A former late night talk show host

Kum Hia———————Approach me

Lao Ze Sho——————Gilligans Island

Lao Zi———————-Not very good

Lin Ching——————-An illegal execution

Moon Lan Ding————-A great achievement of the American space program

Ne Ahn———————-A lighting fixture used in advertising signs

Shai Gai——————–A bashful person

Tai Ne Bae Be————A premature infant

Tai Ne Po Ne————–A small horse

Ten Ding Ba—————-Serving drinks to people

Wan Bum Lung————-A person with T.B.

Yu Mai Te Tan————–Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you

Wa Shing Kah—————Cleaning an automobile

Wai So Dim——————Are you trying to save electricity?

Wai U Shao Ting———-There is no reason to raise your voice

Top 10 Halloween Things That Sound Dirty…

10. Shes a goblin!

9. Id like to get a little something in the sack.

8. Let me see your bag….OH!-Youre having a great night!

7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.

6. Shes got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch

5. If you just lick it, itll last longer.

4. Show me your JuJuBees and Ill let you see my Zagnuts.

3. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth,

2. You scared me stiff!

1. Hes got Candy spread out on the living room floor!