Drive defensively — buy a
Drive defensively — buy a tank.
Archive for the "One Liners" Category
If we are what we
If we are what we eat; Im cheap, fast, and easy.
Someone who thinks logically is
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real
world.
Arizona
Arizona
YOU KNOW YOURE IN ARIZONA WHEN:
- Youve signed so many petitions to recall governors that you cant
remember the name of the incumbent.
- You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
- You can say Hohokam and people dont think youre laughing funny.
- You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the
Salt River.
- You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
- You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
- You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over
100 degrees.
- You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
- You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your
car.
- You can make sun tea instantly.
- You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use
your fireplace.
- You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of
distance.
- You realize that Valley Fever isnt a disco dance.
- Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
- You can pronounce the words: Saguaro, Tempe, Gila Bend, San
Xavier, Canyon de Chelly, Mogollon Rim, Cholla, and
Tlaquepaque.
- Its noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person
is moving on the streets.
- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout
counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just
to go to Circle K.
- Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools
will actually buy them.
- Hot air balloons cant go up, because the air outside is hotter
than the air inside.
- No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
- You can understand the reason for a town named Why.
Just when you thought you
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race
along come faster rats.
A wise farmer never milks
A wise farmer never milks a bull.
Bad Pickup Line
A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, Havent I seen you somewhere before?
Yes, she replied in a loud voice, Im the receptionist at the V.D. clinic
If Barbies so popular, why
If Barbies so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
Id explain it to you,
Id explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
