THINGS YOULL NEVER HEAR AN EMPLOYEE TELL HIS/HER BOSS
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is always refreshing.
2. If its really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how its going. That greatly aids my efficiency.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where youre going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
What happens when people of different occupations get old.
- Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.
- Old garagemen never die, they just retire.
- Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.
- Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.
Thoughts and stories from on the job
My boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, Is this what you get paid for ? I told him, Nope ! I do this for free.
This same boss was into all this dumb inspirational and motivation stuff too. I remember once he posted a sign which read Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. I couldnt resist and added a note: And now you know why too.
Once I came upon this pretty new temp standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face. I asked if she needed any help and she said, Yeah, how does this thing work ? I took the papers from her hand and demonstrated how to work the shredder. She stood there a moment with yet another confused expression, so I said, Any questions ? She said, Yeah, exactly where do the copies come out from ?
People always say that hard work never killed anybody. Oh yeah ??? Whens the last time ya ever heard of anyone who rested to death.
Being punctual in our Office was of no benefit what-so-ever. There was never anybody around to appreciate it.
Our Office was always on the cutting edge of technology. Not only did we have computers which spoke as well as listened; Hell, some of them even got ulcers.
Did ya ever notice the people who complain the most about not having enough time to do all their work are the same ones who always stop & tell everyone that they dont have enuff time to do all their work.
How careers end…
Mathematicians are discounted.
Tree surgeons disembark.
Vegas dealers are discarded.
What happens when people of different occupations get old.
- Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive.
- Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.
- Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.
- Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
How careers end…
Holy people are disgraced.
Pastry chefs are deserted.
Perfume makers are dissented.
Butterfly collectors are debugged.
What happens when people of different occupations get old.
- Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.
- Old garagemen never die, they just retire.
- Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.
- Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.
Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com
How careers end…
Lawyers are disbarred.
Ministers are defrocked.
Electricians are delighted.
Far Eastern diplomats are disoriented.
What happens when people of different occupations get old.
- Old typists never die, they just lose their justification.
- Walt Disney didnt die. Hes in suspended animation.
- Old white water rafters never die, they just get disgorged.
- Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip.
What happens when people of different occupations get old.
- Old musicians never die, they just get played out.
- Old number theorists never die, they just get past their prime.
- Old numerical analysts never die, they just get disarrayed.
- Old owls never die, they just dont give a hoot.