Archive for the "Music" Category

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Cello joke

Q: Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes?
A: So you dont have to retrain the cellists.

Viola joke

Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto?
A: Music Minus One.

Harpsichord joke

The late Sir Thomas Beecham used to say the sound of the harpsichord is like two skeletons making love on a tin roof.

Saxophone joke

Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn wouldve done it.

Accordion joke

Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?
A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.

Piano joke

Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.

Banjo joke

Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an Uzi submachine gun?
A: An Uzi only repeats 40 times.

Musician joke

Q: How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. 1 to do it and the other 19 to stand around and say, I can do that!

Clarinet joke

Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in the handicap zones.

French horn joke

Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but hell spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.