Haios!Funny Jokes, Funny pictures, Free Flash Games, Wigi Games

A
woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her
first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She
replies, "Well, Im a little worried about the pain. How much will
childbirth hurt?"

The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and
pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, its difficult to describe
pain."

"I know, but cant you give me some idea?," she asks.

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little…"

"Like this?"

"A little more…"

"Like this?"

"No. A little more…"

"Like this?"

"Yes. Does that hurt?"

"A little bit."

"Now stretch it over your head!"

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Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I cant remember anything!

Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?

Patient: What problem?A variationDoctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?

Patient: What pills?

Prisoner: Look here, doctor! Youve already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!

Doctor: I am, bit by bit.

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?

Doctor: Sell!

Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?

Doctor: Sell!

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Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?

Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.

A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.

Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out.

Patient: I wanna second opinion.

Doctor: Okay, youre ugly, too.

Patient: Im in a hospital! Why am I in here?

Doctor: Youve had an accident involving a bus.

Patient: What happened?

Doctor: Well, Ive got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

Patient: Give me the bad news first.

Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.

Patient: Thats terrible! Whats the good news?

Doctor: Theres a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.

Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

Patient: Why? Docor, it wasnt all that bad this time.

Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I dont want to miss the four oclock ball game.