Archive for the "Little Johnny/Jane" Category

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Blonde On Top

Little Willie had a gambling problem. Hed bet on anything. One day, Willies father consulted his teacher.

The teacher said. Mr.Gaines, I think I know how to teach Willie a real lesson. Well trap him into a big wager that hell lose.

Willies father agreed to cooperate with the plan.

The next day at school, the teacher watched Willie making wagers with the other children, and she said, Willie, I want you to remain after class.

When the others had left the classroom, Willie walked up to the teacher. Before she could say a word, he said, Dont say it, Miss Brown; I know what youre going to say, but youre a liar!

Willie! the startled teacher said. What are you talking about.

Your a fake! Willie continued.How can I believe anything you tell me? Youve got this blond hair on top, but Ive seen your bush and its pitch black!

Trying to keep her cool, the teacher said, Willie that isnt true.

Ill bet a dollar it is ! Willie challenged.

The teacher saw her chance to teach Willie his lesson.Make it five dollars and you have a bet, she said.

Youre on! Willie whipped out a five dollar bill. Before anyone could come into the room, Miss Brown. dropped her panties, spread her legs, and showed Willie that her pubic hair was as blond as the hair on top of her head.

Willie hung his head. You win, he said, handing her the fiver. Miss. Brown couldnt wait for him to leave so she could get to a phone to call his father. She reported what had happened. Mr. Gaines, she said, I think weve finally taught him his lesson.

The hell we have, the father muttered. This morning Willie bet me ten dollars that hed see your pussy before the day was over.

Dirty Ernie

Dirty Ernie was sitting in his second grade class when he looked out the window and saw two dogs screwing in the school yard. He jumped up and hollered, Hey, everyone! look at that!

The teacher ran to the window and pulled the blind.

A little girl in the front row said, Teacher, what was those two dogs doing?

The teacher said that the dog on top had a broken leg, and the dog on the bottom was helping him get home.

Dirty Ernie then said, Teacher, aint that just like life, you try to help someone out and end up getting screwed?

Cheerios!

6 year old Marilyn and 4 year old Little Johnny were upstairs playing in their play room. Marilyn said I think its about time we start swearing. Dont you?

Little Johnny nodded in agreement.

Marilyn said Ok, I say ass and you say hell.

Little Johnny again nodded his head in agreement and they went downstairs for breakfast. Their mom asked Marilyn what she wants to eat.

Marilyn replied Well hell mom, Ill have some Cheerios.

Her mom spanked her and sent her to her room. She then asked Little Johnny what he wanted for breakfast.

Little Johnny said I dont know, but you bet your ass it wont be Cheerios!

Little Johnny Follows Suit…

A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his moms bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, I need a man, I need a man!

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!

Little Johnny is passing his

Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water.
Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?Daddy, relieved that Johnnys not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town.Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!

Math Class

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out.

If I gave you $200, the teacher began, and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would you have?

An orgy, Johnny answered.

Little Johnny and his balloons

Little Johnny walks into his mothers room and catches her topless.

Mommy, Mommy, what are those? He says pointing to her breasts.

Well, son, These are balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven.

Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied. Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into the kitchen. Mommy, Mommy, Aunt Eliza is dying!

What do you mean? Says his mother.

Well, shes out in the garden shed, lying on the floor with both of her balloons out. Daddy is trying to blow them up for her and she keeps yelling, God, Im coming! God, Im coming!

Urinate

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!

The teacher replied, Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate.

Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.

Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, Youre an eight, but if you had bigger tits, youd be a ten!!!

Little Johnny Stands Up

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks youre stupid, stand up!"After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think youre stupid, Little Johnny?""No, maam, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

My God Your Ugly

Little Johnny said to his aunt Tess, My God, youre ugly, arent you!

His mother overheard this and pulled Johnny into the kitchen. You naughty boy! she screamed, How can you say to your aunt that shes ugly! You go right in and apologize to her! Tell her youre sorry!

Little Johnny entered the living room, walked over to his aunt and said, Aunt Tess, I am sorry youre so ugly.