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Little Johnny came in from school and asked if he could take his dog, Molly, for a walk.



You cant dear, Mollys in heat, said the mother.



Whats heat, Momma? asked Johnny.



Your dad is out in the garage. You better go ask him, said Momma.



Hey Daddy, I want to take Molly for a walk, but Momma says I cant cause shes in heat. Whats heat?



His dad was cleaning his tools in some gasoline. He took a rag, dipped it in the gasoline and rubbed it all over Mollys rear end. Dont worry about it, son. This will fix her. With that, Little Johnny took Molly for the walk.



About twenty minutes later he returned without the dog.



Wheres Molly? his dad asked.



She ran out of gas about two blocks away, Daddy, answered Little Johnny,



But dont worry: one of the neighbors dogs is pushing her home.

One day in Language Arts class the children were called to make sentences with words chosen by the teacher. The teacher smiled when Little Johnny raised his hand to participate during the challenge of making a sentence with the words: Defeat, Defense, Deduct, and Detail. Little Johnny stood, thinking for a while, all eyes focused on him while his classmates awaited his reply. Smiling, he then proudly shouted out, Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail.

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.



She quickly turned and asked, Whats so funny Bobby?

Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters.

Get out of my classroom, she yells, I dont want to see you for three days!



The teacher turns back to the chalkboard.

Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, Whats so funny Billy?



Well teacher, I just saw BOTH of your garters.

Again she yells, Get out of my classroom! This time the punishment is more severe, and tells him - I dont want to see you for three weeks!



Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom.



And where do you think you are going? she asks.



Well teach, from what I just saw, my school days are over!

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed
anti-wrinkle cream on her face.Why do you do that Mummy? he asked.To make myself beautiful replied his mother, who then
began removing the cream with a tissue.Whats the matter? asked Little Johnny. Giving up?

It was time for the sex talk to their kids, Little Johnny and Little Jane.

Each parent took a kid

THE mother told Little Jane that her private spot was a garage and no boy should stick their truck in it

The father took Little Johnny aside and told his piece was a truck and should be parked in a garage when he is old enough

After their respective talks, both kids went outside to play.

Little Johnny comes running and screaming and locked himself in the bathroom.

Jane comes in with blood all over her mouth. Her mom asked, What on earth happened?!

Jane said Well, Johnny tried to park his truck in my garage so i bit off his back tires…

Little Jonny asked his mother Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?

Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense? replied by his mother

Little Jonny answered The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary.

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Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmothers house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

Johnny, wait until we say our prayer, his mother reminded him.

I dont have to, the little boy replied.

Of course you do, his mother insisted, we say a prayer before eating at our house.

Thats at our house, Johnny explained, but this is Grandmas house and she knows how to cook!

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.

The first boy says, My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.

The second boy says, Thats nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.

Little Johnny says, I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon.and it takes eight people to collect all the money!

Little Johnny brought a box wrapped with a red ribbon, to school, as a present for his teacher. He handed it to her. She started to guess what was inside. Chocolates? she asked.

Nope.

A Cake? Johnny shook his head No. Then the teacher noticed some liquid dripping from the corner of the box. She caught a few drops on her finger, put the finger in her mouth, then said, Ah, I know-dill pickles.

No, Johnny said, its a puppy.

During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:
If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?
Mike replies: Wait a minute, Im going for a piss.
The teacher says: That would be very rude and improper on your part.
Charlie replies: Im sorry I need to go to the toilet, Ill be back in a minute.
The teacher says: Thats much better but to mention the word toilet during a meal, is unpleasant.
And Little Johnny says: My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner.