Q: How many Apple
Q: How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Seven. One to screw it in and six to design the tee-shirts.
Archive for the "Lightbulb" Category
Q: How many Apple
Q: How many Apple and IBM nuts does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: An infinite number: nothing useful gets done while theyre arguing. Finally a disgusted generic computer user (who will use any type that is in front of him) gets up and changes the bulb, elbowing the participants aside. The size of the crowd arguing seems to be a function of time, although whether or not the function is exponential is not known.
Dogs n Light Bulbs
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. Then Ill replace any wiring thats not up to code.
Rottweiler: Make me!
Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?
Dachshund: You know I cant reach that stupid lamp!
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while hes busy.
Jack Russell Terrier: Ill just pop it in while Im bouncing off the walls.
Greyhound: It isnt moving. Who cares?
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Mastiff: Screw it yourself! Im not afraid of the dark…
Doberman: While its out, Ill just take a nap on the couch.
Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb?
Australian Shepherd: First, Ill put all the light bulbs in a little circle…
Old English Sheep dog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?
Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs — people change light bulbs.
I am not one of THEM so the question is, how long before I can expect my light again?
Poodle: Ill just blow in the Border Collies ear and hell do it.
By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, weve got our whole lives ahead of us,
and youre inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?
Q: How many Ann
Q: How many Ann Arborites does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just start a Coping With Darkness support group.
Note: Ann Arbor is a where, not a who. Its the home of the University of Michigan, which has a fairly liberal reputation.)
Q: How many old
Q: How many old macrobiotics does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Five. One to change it, three to hold the ladder, and one to call the ambulance.
3 Short Star Trek QA Jokes about Borg
Forwarded from another list. You may have to be a fan of the show to understand them. No offense to any Borg out there.
Q: How many Borg does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Illumination is irrelevant.
Q. What does a depressed Borg say?
A. Everythings NOT futile.
Q: Why did the Borg cross the road?
A: Standing there was futile.
Q: How many Windows
Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle…
Q: How many lexicographers
Q: How many lexicographers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to change it and one to protest that he should have changed it to light bulb.
Q: How many Poles
Q: How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!
Q: How many journalists
Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.