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Youre so ugly your mom couldnt tell if it was you or Freddy Krueger at the door.

30 Nasty Things A Woman Can Say To A Naked Man

1. Ive smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, its cute.
3. Why dont we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. Its OK, well work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no… a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, itll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this wont take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why dont we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. Its a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why youre supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird!!!

Your brain is so small that if they put it on the edge of a razor blade, it would look like a BB rolling down an eight lane highway.

Q: How do you know when youre REALLY ugly?
A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

Does your face hurt? Well, its killing me!

Your so fat that when you walk outside in a red shirt everyone Shouts Kool Aid, Kool Aid

Youre so poor that you put a Happy Meal from McDonalds on Lay-A-way.

Do you know how to keep an idiot in suspense?

Ill let you know tomorrow.

You are so ugly the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand slipped through the toilet paper.

Hey, what are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants its ass back!