How to impress a woman:
compliment her,
respect her,
honor her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine and dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to impress a man:
Show up naked. Bring beer.
Top Ten Things Only Women Understand
10. Cats facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts arent just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, off-white and eggshell.
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
And the number one thing women understand…
1. Other women!
At the card shop:
A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, No. A clerk came over and asked, May I help you?
I dont know, said the woman. Do you have any Sorry I laughed at your dick cards?
Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman
A Christmas tree doesnt care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
A Christmas tree doesnt care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com
How To Avoid Turning Into Your Mother
Quality Time: When You And Your Husband Should Spend Time Apart
Beyond The Front Page: Exploring The Daily Newspaper
Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman
A Christmas tree doesnt care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
A Christmas tree doesnt care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Q: How do you scare a man?
A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Continuing Education Courses for Women
Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before.
The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits.
New Family - Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates Ad (Long Version)
