In a New York drugstore: We dispense with accuracy.
In the offices of a loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.
In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center
On a New York convalescent home: For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.
On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.
In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
Outside a farm: HORSE MANURE PER PRE-PACKED BAG DO-IT-YOURSELF
In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR.(THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)
Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Sign in an Acapulco Hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
Sign in a Norwegian lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: Please do not disturb further.
Sign in an office: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.
Sign in a veterinarys waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!
Sign in school: In case of atomic attack, the federal ruling concerning prayer in this building will be temporarily suspended.
Sign on an asphalt truck: Let us fill your crack!
Office sign: Ace exterminating - we kill bugs dead, walk-ins welcome.
Sign at a muffler shop: No muff too tough for us!
Sign on a government issue car: Fulton county disaster coordinator.
Sign on the wall of the office of an ethnologist: Beware of bargains in 1. Parachutes 2. Life preservers 3. Brain surgery 4. Eye Care
Billboard sign on a highway coming out of Austin, TX: Nobody reads billboards…. But you just did :)
An ad on the subway in NYC: Learn to read and speak English. Call us now.
An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed.
Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: Used beer department.
Sign in a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but youll find they are best in the long run.
Sign from a Japanese booklet about using a hotel air CONDITIONER: COOLERS AND HEATERS: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
Two signs from a Morrocan shop entrance: English well talking. Here speeching American.
Sign at a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
New Family - Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates Ad (Long Version)
