Haios!Funny Jokes, Funny pictures, Free Flash Games, Wigi Games

At my Universitys Student center Bathrooms: If you see four feet instead of two under the bathroom door, please notify it immediately to the University Police.

In the hallway of a High School in New Jersey Our School: Commitment, Responsibility, Attitude, Persistance.

Road sign in Roosevelt, Utah: Rest Area Next Right - the next right leads a person right into to a cemetery.

A sign in the local opportunity shop says, If your going to steal, then smile for the camera.

Sign on restaurant window: Dont stand there and be hungry. Come in and get fed up.

Sign in a bowling alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

Sign for a litter of dachshund pups: Get a long little doggie!

Sign in a cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want.

Sign on a music librarys door: Bach in a minuet.

On a store front in Florida: Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor. Drive through open 24 hours!

A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: Smile, Youre on Radar!

Seen in a State Park in California: Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If its wet, its raining. If its moving, its windy. If you cant see it, its foggy. If rock is gone, its a tornado.

Sign in a Laundromat AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

Sign in a restaurant window: T-bone steak $1 Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12

A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: Todays special. Below it says: Sos tomorrow.

Sign on restaurant window: Great food (50,000 flies cant be wrong).

Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: Drive carefully. Well wait.

Sign in a Maine restaurant: Open 7 days a week and weekends.

In front of a New Hampshire car wash: If you cant read this, its time to wash your car.

Sign in a realtors office: Lots for little.

Sign in a shoe store: Come in and have a fit.

Sign in a maternity clothes store: We are open on labor day.

Sign in a non-smoking area: If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

Sign seen in London department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs

Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station: Closed for official opening.

Sign in a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

Sign in a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

Sign in a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com

Sign in a science teachers room: If it moves, its biology. If it stinks, its chemistry. If it doesnt work, its physics.

Sign in butchers window: Pleased to meat you.

Sign on auto body shop: May we have the next dents?

Sign at the dry cleaners window: Drop your pants here.

Sign on a parking space at a garden nursery: Reserved for plant manager.

In a New York restaurant: Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.

On the wall of a Baltimore estate: Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.-Sisters of Mercy

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: 38 years on the same spot.

In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.

In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.

Sign seen in London department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs

Sign seen in the vicinity of Victoria Station: Closed for official opening.

Sign in a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

Sign in a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

Sign in a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.

Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus. (translation of the Greek): Caution: Road Slippery from Grapejuice

A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race: Lets see who can go downhill the fastest.

Sign in Kings Canyon in California. Slow Parking Ahead

A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from Johannesburg International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down. The caption reads: Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!