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Sign in restaurant window: Eat now – Pay waiter.

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. Good heavens, he said, what is this?

Why, its bean soup, she replied.

I dont care what it has been, he sputtered. What is it now?

In January 1994, The Economist magazine reported that one of Secretary of Energy Hazel OLearys success stories about government research scientists hired out for civilian business uses was the Argonne National Laboratorys helping McDonalds to find a way to speed up french frying. A team headed by physicist Tuncer Kuzay, who interrupted his work on advanced photons, placed sensors inside the frozen fries and was able to design special frying baskets to deal with the effect of steam created by melting ice crystals and to cut 30 to 40 seconds off each batchs frying time.

Cologne, May 27 dpa – The U.S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many Big Mac hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germanys leading institutes.

The Institute of the German Economy (IW) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonalds restaurant chain is increasingly being used by economists around the world as a measure of currencies relative purchasing power.

The institute said that currency exchange rates are often unreliable as an instrument to measure purchasing power. At the same time, baskets of products used to arrive at comparative purchasing power are complicated to compile.

Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?

Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!

Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?

Johnny: Its because I saw one on daddys lettuce, but now its gone.

Whats the difference between a Triscuit and a lesbian?

Ones a snack cracker, and the others a crack snacker.

A simple alternative, now that McDonalds has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.

A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, his 18 marks in Germany can just barely obtain four Big Macs, the IW said.

Conclusion: based on the Big Mac index, the dollar is undervalued, the institute said.

Americans can get their best Big Mac buy these days in Moscow, where one sandwich costs only about 59 cents.

But Russians must work nearly two days in order to afford this meaty capitalist achievement – longer than people in any other country, the IW said.

Youll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.

Sample the whisky to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Dont forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again and go to bed.

A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry.

In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store. After arguing loudly, the couple began throwing sweet potatoes at each other. Eventually, the man allegedly threw the woman into several vegetable racks, sending the contents spilling to the floor. As both continued to brawl on the floor, she allegedly stuffed lettuce into the mans mouth.