New Car
Have you heard about the new Jewish car?
Not only does it stop on a dime, it picks it up.
Archive for the "Ethnic" Category
Surplize, Surplize
Three guys, the American captain, an Australian and a Japanese guy are shipwrecked on an island.
On reaching shore, the American asks the Australian to find a good spot for a camp.
He turns to the Japanese guy and says to go into the bush and get supplies.
Ill scout the island and well meet at the camp at dusk, said the captain.
The captain returns to find the Australian has set up camp but the Japanese guy hadnt returned.
Wheres that Jap with the supplies? said the captain.
The night passes and still there is no sign of the Jap with the supplies, so they go looking for him.
They scout the whole island but cant find him.
Just as they are returning to camp, the Jap jumps out from behind a tree and shouts, Surplize, surplize.
Irishman and 100 little colourful budgies
There was this Irishman and he went into the pet shop and asked the owner if he had any budgies? The pet shop owner showed him multitudes of the beautiful coloured birds. How many do you have? asked the Irishman.
Well, we have a hundred all together said the owner. Ill take them all! Said the Irishman. Well, the Irishman just so happened to be wearing a very special waistcoat, with 100 little pockets in the front, and into each one he put one of the colourful little Budgies.
The Irishman then left the shop took a taxi to the Post Office Tower in London, took the lift to the top, stood on the roof an jumped off!
Well, you can imagine what happened! Kersplat! The Irishman landed in a heap at the bottom!
His friend Shamus, who had gone with the man, rushed up to his stricken friend shouting, Paddy, Paddy, what did you do that for???
And his friend Paddy croaked, Jesus, Shamus, this Budgie Jumpings not all its cracked up to be!
A few nights ago a
A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the polish
jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to
sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, this big guy came in
and said to me, Hey pal, Im Polish and I dont like you telling all those
Polish jokes!
So I said, Well, theyre not against you, pal, just against
anyone in Poland. My mother is in Poland! He screams, and pulls out
a razor. Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me if he had
found a place to plug it in!
God Is White?
Actually, God made Adam white because He Himself is white. Heres the proof:…
To Moses he said I am what I am.
If He were black, Hed have said I be what I be.
Top 10 Reasons To Live In Newfoundland
1. The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in Confederation
2. If Quebec Separates, you will float off to sea
3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss a dead cod
4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products
5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse
6. You understand the meaning of Great Big Seas lyrics
7. The work day is about two hours long
8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines
9. If someone asks if youre from Nova Scotia, you are allowed to kick their ass
10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding day
What do you call a
What do you call a Phillipino contortionist?
A Manila folder
Genie Wish
A mexican, a black guy, and a white guy stumble upon a genies magic lamp. They rub the lamp and a genie appears. The genie says, I will give you each one wish.
The mexican says, I wish that me and all of the mexican people in the U.S. were back in Mexico and happy.
*Poof* The wish comes true.
The black guy says, I wish that me and all of the black people in the U.S. were back in Africa and happy.
*Poof* The wish comes true.
The white guy says, Let me get this straight. All of the spics and niggers are out of the U.S.
The genie nods. Then the man says, Okay then, I wish for a Coke.
New Words
A boy from France comes to America. He wants to learn some new words so he goes to the airport and learns "take off." Then he learnes "zebra" from the zoo and "baby" from the hospital. Then he goes home and says, Mommy, I learned new words today. She says, "Great, honey what did you learn?" He says, Takeoffzebrababy!
What do you call an
What do you call an Eitheopean with feathers glued on his ass?
A dart