Haios!Funny Jokes, Funny pictures, Free Flash Games, Wigi Games

A Father and son are talking about where to go on holiday.
The father suggests Poland because you can eat and drink for free.
Also, he says, you may go to the buffet for free.

After his visit to Poland his son lies in the hospital and complains
bitterly, Why have you told me all this is free in Poland. Everytime I
tried to have lunch for free or tried to go to the buffet for free I was
beaten up.

After his father had a careful reflection he says,
Oh, sorry. I didn t tell you I was in Poland with the SS!

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.

They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?

The blonde guy leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr-gerrrrr Kiiinnnggg.

Did you hear what the men say in a Muslim strip club?

Get your face out for the boys…

Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern.
To Mike Callahan, the barkeep, Shandy said Mike, Ill be havin three
whiskeys.

Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. Now, Timothy, its not
the usual thing for you to ask for three whiskeys. Its celebratin, you
are.

Ahh, ye know me too well, Micheal, ye do. Truth, and Im
celebrating me first blow job.

Callahan smiled benevolently and set a fourth glass on the bar. Now,
thats special, he said. For an old customer like yrself, heres a
fourth on the house, so I may be sharin your celebration with you.

Shandy shook his head, and replied Tis verra kind of ye, Micheal,
but Im thinkin if three wont get rid of the taste, four wont either.

These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, Well have to come back here tomorrow!

The other asks, But how will we remember where this spot is?

The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, Well just look for this X tomorrow.

The other guy says, You idiot! How do you know well get the same boat?

Have you heard the one about the . . . .

. . . colored man who saw his girlfriend in a sack dress and said, Honey,
is you in fashion or is you in trouble.

What did the Jewish American Princess say when she knocked over a
priceless Ming vase?

Oh, Daaaaddy, its OK, Im not hurt.

If American women use FDS, and French women use feminique, what
do [ethnic] women use?

Janitor in a drum.

There were these three guys, a Polish guy, an Italian guy, and a Jewish guy. They all worked together at a factory. Everyday they noticed that their boss leaves work a little early. So one day they meet together and say that today when the boss leaves, theyll all leave early too.



The boss leaves and so did they. The Jewish guy goes home and goes to rest so he can get an early start the next morning. The Italian guy goes home and cooks dinner. The Polish guy goes home and walks to his bedroom. He opens the door slowly and sees his wife in bed with his boss, so he shuts the door and leaves.



The next day the Italian and Jewish guys are talking about going home early again. They ask the Polish guy if he wants to leave early again and he says, No. They ask him why not and he says, Because yesterday I almost got caught!

A GOOD ONE… enjoy. There was this case in the hospitals Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. Why the death? So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil…….. Just when the clock struck 11…. Scroll down for what happened… Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.