(as submitted to www.dilbert.com)
I had to get up at 4:00 a.m. to pack, then take two 70-pound boxes along to the airport. I checked them in, then sat on the plane for an hour before takeoff. Just after we were in the air, I realized that I left my car in front of the airport doors (loading zone).
I work for a TV news network. A co-worker left keys in our van at the airport. The van and $200,000 worth of equipment mysteriously vanished.
Flew to Hartford, arrived midnight. Rental car not reserved. Took a cab to hotel, room not reserved. Went to client next day. They were expecting someone else. My Pointy-Haired Boss had sent me by mistake. Flew home.
Trip to Microsoft labs in Redmond WA. Travel booked to Redmond Oregon, middle of nowhere. No car, no hotel, no MS lab!
When arriving at our hotel in Miami, PHB informs me that he has booked only one room for both of us. He says its more cost effective that way.
The maid set off the fire sprinkler in my hotel room while I was out. Luckily I had a watertight suitcase. Too bad Id left it open - I came back to find my only suit floating in 6 feet of filthy water.
I went to L.A. from D.C. for an ultra-critical customer demo. The Pointy-Haired Marketing Idiot checked equipment as baggage because its heavy. It went to Des Moines. It showed up three days late after having been impaled on a forklift.
Believing our shipping dept - they said that my parts would be onsite in another city.
I backed-up the car on my laptop in the customers parking lot.
PHB to Coworker: Okay, hand me the presentation.
Coworker to me: Um, I dont have it. Do you have it?
Me to PHB: No. Do you have it?
PHB: Oh, no. Its on my desk. (In Omaha - were in Miami.)
Two co-workers of mine were crossing the US-Mexico border (legitimately) with their rental car. The border police chased them down. Apparently, they had rented a car that had previously been used to smuggle drugs across the border…
On a trip to Toronto from the U.S., my boss had a problem with his ticket while boarding the plane. He turned to me and said, Boy, whats a terrorist have to do to get out of the country nowadays?
Taking a customer for a meal, I found my company credit card was cancelled. The customer paid for the meal. There was no answer at the company phone the next day. Yep, the company had been seized and the slime-ball PHB didnt let on when he saw me off.
The CEO wrote checks to cover conference attendance for everyone. Then he spent the money out from under the checks and they bounced. Now the organizers are suing the individual attendees.
The travel agent (assigned by company) had me fly to Cleveland when my destination was 10 minutes outside of Toledo. I flew 90 minutes and spent four hours in the car both ways. Toledo is only 3 1/2 hours from my house.
Your flight got grounded in a blizzard in Montreal and your bags went to Bermuda.
I wound up sitting next to the PHB on a long flight. He proceeded to read (AT) me our entire report, which I had helped prepare, at the top of his lungs.
I agreed to meet a potential employer on a flight to a convention that we were both attending so he could interview me on the way. I didnt realize that my PHB decided to go at the last minute and was seated one row behind us!
I flew to Texas for a job interview. When I arrived, a hurricane was raging in the Gulf. At my motel, there was a palm tree in the pool and the concierge was relocating everyone on the first floor to the second floor due to flooding.
Biggest disaster for my boss: The client I was meeting with offered me a job with much more money. I called in my resignation after three days in the hotel at company expense.
Dilbert©1999 United Feature Syndicate, Inc.
