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IBM: I Believe in Memorex

Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldnt work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked What power switch?

Scsi - What you call your week-old underwear.

11. I find it hard to concentrate without 20 fans running. 10. I needed a home for my dust bunnies. 9. My plans to open a computer museum, might just get venture capital someday. 8. Three more and I can host a LAN party. 7. The command line will make a comeback, and I want [...]

At the time of writing, Microsofts slogan for Windows 95 was Where do you want to go today? These are some alternative and probably more truthful ad slogans for use with Windows.
6. Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.

There is a computer virus that is being sent across the Internet. If you receive an e-mail message with the subject line Free Money, DO NOT read the message. DELETE it immediately, UNPLUG your computer, then BURN IT to ASHES in a government-approved toxic waste disposal INCINERATOR.
Once a computer is infected, it will be TOO [...]

I used to be smug about the Y2K problem even though it was definitely a problem with 100% probability of occurrence. But then I got to thinking about chaos theory and what really causes big problems and disasters. Its the little unexpected things. For example, a barge strikes a bridge causing a train to fall [...]

Unix Beer — Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64 oz. Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though they claim that all the different brands taste almost identical. Sometimes the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to have your own [...]

Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It [...]

As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks;(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp in Redmond, WA.)
What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will [...]