There were three pigs and a blonde in a bar. The first pig asks: are blondes really stupid?
no: says the blonde.
The second pig asks:are blondes really stupid?
no:says the blonde
the third pig walks up to her and asks are blondes really stupid.
no: says the blonde
the third pig says: well…im gonna ask that burnette over there!!!!!
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver: Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?
The bus driver shakes his head and says, No, Im sorry.
Hearing this, the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters:
Will it take ME?
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10 Blonde Science Fair Projects:
10) Are poisonous snakes really venomous?
9) Is lighter fluid flammable?
What hurts more: falling off a building, or a cliff?
7) Are knives sharp?
6) Can sharks hurt a human?
5) What happens if I stick my hand in a piranha aquarium?
4) Can I break my arm hitting it against a wall?
3) Can I go through a brick wall?
2) Can dogs talk?
1) Are blondes really dumb?
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesnt have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, Im blonde, Im smart, I have a good job, and Im staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats Im blonde, Im smart, I have a good job and Im staying in first class until we reach Jamaica. The head stewardesses doesnt even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, I told her the front half of the airplane wasnt going to Jamaica.
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes.He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said….FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
An office exec was interviewing a blonde for an assistant position, and wanted to find out a little about her personality."If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?""Id have to say the living one."
There was a blonde, a red head, and a brunette and they were all up in space. Each girl tried thinking up ways to be better then the other two…
The red head said, I am going to be the first woman to land on mars.
The brunette said, I can beat that, ill be the first woman to land on saturn.
The blonde said, I ll beat both of you, ill be the first woman to land on the sun.
How are you going to do that, asked the other two.
Simple, said the blonde.
Ill go at night!
The phone call…
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,
How should I know, thats 200 miles from here! and hung up.
Curious, the husband said, Who was that?
And his lovely wife replies, I dont any idea who it was.
It was some stupid woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, Next.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: Hes had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all working for NASA, were trying to figure out where to go on the next trip.
The brunette said, We should go to Mars.
The redhead said, We should go to the Moon.
The brunette and the redhead sat there arguing for a while. Suddenly, the blonde shouts, Stop arguing! I know where the next expedition should be to … the Sun!
The brunette and the redhead looked at each other and started laughing. The brunette finally said, You cant go to the Sun. You would melt or burn up before you even got close!
The blonde said, DUH… Not if you go at night!
What is chemistrys greatest achievement ……
Artificial blondes!