A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond are sitting in a doctors office, talking about what sex of child they are going to have.
The Brunette says I am going to have a boy because I was on top when having sex.
The Redhead replied I am going to have a girl because I was on the bottom while having sex.
Then the Blond says hesterically Oh my God, I am going to have puppies.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: Its on. Its off. Its on. Its off. Its on. Its off.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
A
blonde suspected that her boyfriend was cheating on
her, so she bought a gun. She went to his apartment
that same day, with the pistol in hand. Sure enough,
when she opened the door, she found her boyfriend in
the arms of a redhead. Overcome with grief, she put
the gun to the side of her head. Her boyfriend screamed,
“Honey, don’t do it…”
The blonde yelled back, “Shut up! You’re
next!”
A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed.
The blonde agreed to the conditions and started right away. The supervisor checked up at the end of the day and found that she had completed four miles on her first day, double the average!
Great, he told her, I think youre really going to work out.
The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished two miles. The supervisor thought, Well shes still at the average and I dont want to discourage her, so Ill just keep quiet.
The third day however the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought, I need to talk to her before this gets any worse. The boss talked the new employee and said, You were doing so great. The first day you did four miles, the second day two miles, but yesterday you only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure? Whats keeping you from meeting the two mile minimum?
The blonde replied, Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the paint bucket.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: Why did it take the blonde seven days to drive from St. Louis to Chicago?
A: She kept seeing signs that read stop clean bathroom.
There was once was a blonde woman who had just bought a house.
She called it Harrybutt.
She had a child and named in Crack.
She lost Crack and couldnt find him.
So she called the police and said, I looked all over my Harrybutt and couldnt find my crack!
A policeman pulled a blonde over after shed been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad, cause all the people were leaving!