A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river.
The brunette wants to get across.
She yells across to the blonde, Hey, how do I get to the other side?
The blonde shakes her head and yells back -
People like you really piss me off. You ARE on the other side!
A whine cellar.
A: A know-it-all bitch.
This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job. Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day, the foreman told her. The blonde woman didnt see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back sweating like a pig. Christ, how many trees did you cut down? asked the foreman. 6 she replied. What!? You have to do better than that. Get up earlier tommorow. The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted. How many this time? asked the foreman. 12 she said. The foreman says, That does it. Im coming out there with you tommorow morning.The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, This is how to cut down trees really quickly. He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically. So he asks her whats wrong. She replies, Whats that noise?
A blonde is explaining to her girlfriend the bad day shed had at work, that her boss had suffered a heart attack and died.
How horrible said the friend, what did you do?
The blonde replies, Well there was nothing I could do, he kept yelling at me to call 9-1-1, but he wouldnt tell me the rest of the numbers!
Did ya hear about the blonde who brought a bag of frozen french fries to a poker game?
Someone told her to bring her own chips.
Q. Whats the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A. A brunette with bad breath.
Q. What do blondes and cow shit have in common?
A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q. How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!
Q. What does a blonde say the last two words of the national anthem are?
A. Play ball!
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
Q. What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A. Cause it said concentrate.
Q. Whats the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?
A. The joystick is wet.
Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. Whats the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A. The brick doesnt follow you home after you lay it.
Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?
A. She sold her car for it…
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. Are you sure its mine?
What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!