Yo mamas So Ugly
Yo mama so ugly, it takes her a half hour to walk a block — cause she stops at all the hydrants!
Archive for the "Animal" Category
Bird vs. Fly
Whats the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly but a fly cant bird.
The little puppy
One day there was a little puppy dog laying beside one of the rails on a railroad track.
He fell asleep,and while he was sleeping his tail ended up on the rail, and by that time a train came along and cut off the very tip of his tail. He looked around to see what happen [...]
mommy
One day a little girl saw 2 dogs jumping on each other. She ran to her mother and said, Mom, those dogs are fighting!
Her mother said with a sly grin, Oh really? Then maybe your father and I should fight more often…
Anteaters
Why dont anteaters ever get sick?
Because theyre all full of anty bodies
Three very tough mice
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.
The first says, Im so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!
The second says, Well Im so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!
Then the third rat gets up and says, Later [...]
Three in one
Q. What do you call a dog with no legs? A. Nothing - he cant come to you anyway
Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A. Ground beef
Q. What do you call a group of cattle in a jacking off?
A. Beef Strohganoff
The chicken
why did the chicken cross go by the underpass?
Wifes Birthday
The most effective way to remember your wifes birthday is to forget it once.
The Ocotpus!
A man walks into a bar and he has a pet octopus. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender give us two beers over here!
The bartender walks over and sees the octopus and he says, Didnt you see the sign over there it says no pets allowed!
The man says [...]